When Loins Attack: Need Help From Linda Howard Fans

MacKenzie's Mission by Linda Howard
Audiobook - Brilliance Audio
DNF

For the very first time I picked up a Linda Howard Audiobook to listen to. It's not only my first audio version of hers I've listened to, but also the first book of hers for me period. The problem? I'm having MAJOR issues with it. This was unexpected because she's a big name author that I assumed would have to be half-way readable to a vast majority of readers in order to have made her books so popular. I'm not seeing that in this book at all. So now I have to ask: Is is just me?

Okay, so the book is MacKenzie's Mission and it will officially be my first ever DNF book or audiobook. A few months ago I talked about not finishing an audiobook but I had managed to work my way to the end. This time, I just can't take it anymore and I turned it off and ejected it this morning on my way to work. Which is saying something because I HATE morning radio and the nimwits who hosts shows and yet that was prefereable to me over this audiobook.

So what's the issue? There are many and I talked about a few of them with some awesome readers on twitter yesterday.

The first might be that I really don't like the hero and heroine and that might be clouding my opinon. In addition, there is a male narrarator and I'm not so hot on male narrators. Why? Because they always make the female voices sound ridiculous. They make them whiney and shakey and little girl sounding instead of like an adult woman.

So those are the issues to start with.

BUT then come the things I started to get riled up over.

The hero grew up on a horse farm and so the reader is treated to EVERY SINGLE reference of the hero to the heroine is full of horse metaphors. I stopped counting how many times he spoke of mounting her, taming her, breaking her spirit, etc. Give me a break already. We get it - you don't have to beat those phrases into the ground.

The heroine is a virgin. Okay. I have no problem with that and had no issue with how it was explained that she is 28 and still hasn't been with a man. Those things were explained well. What did I have an issue with? She has sex 5 TIMES in one night on her first night. NOT ONE SINGLE time is described as gentle and yet the next morning they immediately wake up and she's all "Oh, I'm only sore a little we can get it on" and off they go for more marathon sex. THAT LASTS AN ENTIRE WEEKEND. As a virgin with a supposedly huge, rough man.

Now, maybe this would have been more believable if this was an erotic romance or erotica but this was a plain old romance with a naieve woman and I just didn't buy it.

What else was wrong with that? The entire thing is told through the hero's POV and it's all about getting his pleasure, slating his lust, etc. Not really any mention of caring more about how she feels and if she is hurting than "relieving the tighness in his loins."

Yes, loins are everywhere in this book. Yet another romance book with a built-in drinking game. I mean it's the male POV and all he can think to himself about his man junk is loins?

Then IT happened. The part of the story in which I could take no more. The heroine is accused of something and instead of going with her character's obvious personality traits, she decides to do the most insane, stupid thing ever and it completely flies in the face of everything you know about this character. WTF! STOP. EJECT. I just couldn't take it anymore.

So Dear Readers, I'm asking for any Linda Howard fans out there to help me understand. Is this a one-off bad book? Did you read this book and love it and apparently I'm just not going to like her writing but there are plenty of others who love it? If you've read this book what did you think?

Lastly, what Linda Howard book would you recommend that I read as her best work? I've heard from Twitter to try Mr. Perfect - would that be the "perfect" one to read? (Insert groan over my silliness here)

Romance Book Review: The Prince's Royal Concubine by Lynn Raye Harris

 Book Review: The Prince's Royal Concubine
By: Lynn Raye Harris
Harlequin Presents June 2010
3 Heart Review


Two glittering royal houses...


Prince Cristiano di Savare hunts his prey by ruthless means. Tonight's pickings -- Antonella Romanelli, crown princess of a rival country and part of a dynasty he has every reason to despise...


One majestic seduction...

Antonella is rocked by Cristiano's unexpected magnestism. But there's ice in his wolfish smile...She's far from the promiscuous spoiled socialite he believes her to be, but Cristiano is here to persuade her into compliance. If bedding her is what it takes, then it will make his mission all the more pleasurable...

I have to start this review by saying that although I adore Harlequins, Presents is not my go-to line. I'm a Blaze girl through and through with a little Intrigue thrown in. I absolutely love how fulfilling these stories are, without needing more than just a few hours to read one.

Harlequins are my way of fitting in awesome love stories even when I'm slammed by work or my daily life. A few stolen moments here and there and I've experienced a satisfying romance without having to "find time."

I have read and enjoyed many a Harlequin Presents through the years, even if they aren't my favorite. I tend to like my heroines with a little more spunk, world experience and my heros a little less domineering. An alpha male hero can be a great thing, if the motivation is right, but some Presents miss the mark for me.

I thought it was important to mention that before reviewing a Presents title. The nature of the line kinda means that the chances of one of its books blowing me away are slim. BUT, for some the Presents line is the bees knees so I wanted ove disclosure at the start of this review.

Lynn does an excellent job with writing this story and somehow manages to create a Presents heroine I'm not yelling at to get a backbone! In fact, I really loved the character of Antonella and felt very sympatheic to her story and how she was trying to help her country.

The hero Cristiano was a little harder for me becuase of his ruthlessness toward Antonella at the beginning of the story, but his true colors did show through quickly and he proved to be a sort of rescuing knight - one with ruinious seduction in mind, but still a knight that wouldn't leave a lady to die or fend for herself.

Since I'm a Harelquin fangirl, I'm well aware that the stories happen in a much shorter time frame than your normal romance, but in this instance it was the one thing that didn't really work for me. With Cristiano and Antonella's time together so limited, and with started off with so much hate between them, I couldn't take the leap to believing that Antonella was in love with him.

Maybe if Antonella had taken longer to come to that realization the story would have worked better for me, becuase everything else was there. Good characters, great plot, a good amount of chemistry and conflict. Very well done, I just needed more between them before she falls in so deep.

I give this a 3 Heart Review, but if Presents was more my style it could easily have been a 4. A good read from an author I'm looking forward to seeing more from!

Romance Book Review: An Earl to Enchant by Amelia Grey

Romance Book Review: An Earl to Enchant: The Rogues' Dynasty
By: Amelia Grey
Sourcebooks Casablanca
3 Heart Review

He's Determined Not To Be A Hero...

Lord Morgandale is as notorious as he is dashing, and he's determined no woman will tie him down. But from the moment Arianna Sweet appears on his doorstep, he cannot resist the lure of her fascinating personality, exotic wardrobe, and tempting green eyes...

She Has A Deadly Secret...

Arianna Sweet never imagined the significance of her father's research until after his untimely death. Now she is in possession of his groundbreaking discovery, one that someone would kill for. She can't tell Lord Morgandale her secret, but she knows she needs his help, desperately...

A fan of author Amelia Grey's Rogue's Dynasty series, I was very much looking forward to reading An Earl to Enchant and it proved to be a delightful read.

I found it amazing how much of this story is told with just the hero and heroine and within just a few rooms/settings. It is so focused on the couple and their being alone together, but it never fails to keep the reader engaged and entertained. It takes a very good writer to have so much of the story with just those two characters and very few appearances of others. I was highly impressed with the skill this took and the reader will not miss those extra characters or settings at all. I loved how straight forward this love story was without all the extra noise.

The storyline of the heroine Arianna having spent much of her life in India made this story come alive with something other than just your usual young lady. Arianna's missteps for what is acceptable in English society are expertly layered throughout the story, but they are not overly done or exaggerated as many authors might do. These escapades added just the right hint of exotic fun and all three Rogue brother's viewing Arianna belly dancing through a window was a scene you will chuckle out loud over. 

The part of the story that wasn't as compelling to me was that of finding Arianna's father's murderer. Yes, I know this was the driving motivation behind Arianna's character, but I really skipped right over these sections. I didn't care who had killed her father, or that they were caught, I just wanted more of Morgan fighting to not fall in love, and then fighting not to marry Arianna even though he loved her.     

It was refreshing to have a virgin heroine who was perfectly okay with never marrying and not because she was afraid of men. Instead, Arianna was just happy with life and didn't feel the need for a man to make her existence better. She loved Morgan, but would not have wanted him to marry her if he hadn't loved her. She was a very unassuming heroine and I enjoyed that.

If you haven't read any of the Rogue's Dynasty Series you should really check them out. They are very well-written and lovely books that always satisfy me.

REVIEW: Desert Prince, Defiant Virgin By Kim Lawrence

Desert Prince, Defiant Virgin
By Kim Lawrence
Harelquin Presents February 2009

As heir to the throne, Prince Tair Al Sharif is driven by duty to his country, and indulges in women on a mistress-only basis.

Beige-wearing, bespectacled Molly James is certainly not the kind of woman he usually beds. But Tair is outraged to be told that dowdy Molly is actually a seductress in disguise! She needs to be stopped! Taking her as a captive to the desert, he discovers this Miss Mouse is innocent—in every way. Now Tair wants her…as his bride!

Desert Prince, Defiant Virgin kicks off with an exciting and intriguing first few chapters that set the bar for sexual tension very high, but unfortunately the story does not live up to the expectations that are raised in those first few exchanges.

Both Molly and Prince Tair are compelling characters and there seemed to be a fair amount of heat building between them. It's regrettable that their coming together seems completely unrealistic – even in the world of romance books! I expected more resistance on Molly's part than to give in so quickly to a man who would think the horrible things Tair does of her character. Not to mention the fact that even though he thinks of her as a liar and whore, he still wants to possess her.

Miss Lawrence's writing style is very fresh and her characters, including the intriging family of siblings I hope get their own stories, are well described and come to life for the reader. That makes the missing connection between the two lead characters so disappointing.

The story is a good one with some new and interesting twists, and the writing is quick paced and engaging, but I wish the story would have been further along before Molly and Tair did the deed – time for him to see the real side of her and question his assumptions of her.

I recommend Desert Prince, Defiant Virgin as a entertaining read, especially if you are a fan of Sheikh/Virgin storyline.